I can’t move my leg! Fabious: Maybe we can both be king. Fabious: Ahh! Julie: Anyway, so that you don’t feel like you’re missing out on any of the fun. And Justin Theroux is an evil wizard â like Gargamel only more vulgar and with bigger eyebrows. Take it. Courtney: Uh, please have mercy on us, lady warrior. [as he watches people dancing] Thadeous: I don’t like this. Me! [Soul of Maze shows Fabious being tortured by Leezar’s men] Thadeous: Shut your magical hole! There’s a naked woman standing behind you. Leezar: My mothers have already moistened Belladonna for foreplay. Thadeous: We are not going to do that. Oh, clean yourself up. The Legend of the Courageous Hamtaro A Hamtaro Transcript by Kiwi Kenobi (Laura is running home, she’s very cheerful. Easy, there. I’m not sure if it’s working wizard. It does nothing. I wear this bracelet, forged of the steel of their shields. Thadeous: The time for pleasantries is through. Fabious: Boremont! Sounds flimsy. Thadeous: Nor will I. However, after some research, I’ve concluded that a wizard is someone who uses experience, natural ability, and learning to develop new spells, hone magic, and learn about the world. Rich in character and satire, the novel is set in 1941 and framed cleverly as an “abridged” retelling of a centuries-old tale set in the fabled country of Florin that's home to “Beasts of all natures and descriptions. Pain. Death. The cold air licking your tits. If I can defeat her, the curse will be broken. Thadeous: Ready! [after killing the minotaur with the blade of unicorn] Thadeous: Did you just see that? Courtney: But I’ve never sucked a… [Thadeous pushes Courtney’s head down] Thadeous: Suck it! Thadeous: No! Thadeous: Nothing. Everything they say about you. You want to skin them alive and wear their skin as a cape as you dance around their convulsing corpses. You suck it! : Before the queen could reply, Merlin's eyes turned glassy. Do you think the studio will greenlight it? Soul of the Maze: If I told you that your brother will die without the help of this blade, will you still want to go back home. Fabious: Well, I imagine she’d want a man to be honorable, bold, brave. Now weâre getting somewhere. Thadeous: That’s pure love. I saved you! But perhaps since my animal companion is no longer here, it’s only fair that we get rid of yours as well. Belladonna: How? Well, it’s, we just got home. Fabious: [shouting] Belladonna, I love you! Defies expectation. You dare betray me twice?! Found inside – Page 313But about the caliph proceeded to tell her what we al Gently he woos her , who is called Selim the Wise , and he is ... He came one day to your back , and five - and - twenty on your feet , the liberty , I could assure your highness ... I have something else that you can be. A constant reminder of my vow to avenge them. The story follows Prince Thadeous (Danny McBride), who has always lived his life in the shadow of his brother, the heir apparent, Prince Fabious (James Franco). Tired of always being passed over, Thadeous is now content to slack off, drink and enjoy the company of a maiden or two, while Fabious has fabulous adventures. Thadeous: Shall we pack this again? Thadeous: Shh. That you are brave and honorable and noble. Thadeous: So, in order for us to make love, we have to track down an evil, and I’m assuming, dangerous witch? When I opened my eyes, I was inside a novel. Thadeous: Yes, you can! King Tallious: It is finally time for you to become a man! Dorothy Capture Fabious and kill the rest! Fabious: I don’t want to think about that. Canât get Johnny Depp because he likes dressing up as a pirate, not a knight. King Tallious: His time’s past. Where is she? Theyâre just in armour and there are no cellphones so that makes it a quest, right? No one wants to suck mine! Fabious: I can’t suck my own venom! No! King Tallious: Hmm. Unauthorized distribution, transmission or republication strictly prohibited. What if Thadeous castrates an erect minotaur and wears the severed limb as a trophy sausage around his neck? You wretched wizard! That doesnât matter â there will only be 13-year-old boys in the audience anyway. Leezar: Mmmm. Leezar: If you’re vagina is anything like my hand, there will be no problem. Thadeous: He’s my loyal animal companion. [after finding out that Isabel has run off with their magical compass] Fabious: [shouting] God! He’s nothing more than a self-entitled rotten prince! Thadeous: Really? And heâs fat â everyone calls him Thadeous corpulent. Read more about cookies here. And then you and I head for home. Courtney: What do we do? [suddenly Fabious enters his chambers] Fabious: Brother? 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[taking off the Minotaur’s dick he had hanging round his neck as a trophy of his kill] Thadeous: Here. [to Fabious] Thadeous: You would kiss him? No, fuck it! Thadeous: Well, I would be remiss to say I did it alone. (Laura runs into her room) Laura: Hamtaro! She kicks ass, like a ninja. I just didn’t want to be at that celebrations. We encountered an issue signing you up. It scares me. [Thadeous looks calmly at Fabious] Thadeous: You making a fool of yourself? It’s over. What were our masters orders? The last living member of the harsh bulgarudah. I will not forget you, prince. But unhand my love. Thadeous: They only say that stuff because of you. Thadeous: Fascinating. “Okay, very good.” I laughed happily after so easily solving the matter of financing the Spire. Thadeous: You should close your eyes, Julie. [The Birth of a Hero]. Found inside – Page 83Following the sound of her voice, Lan passed through a door and entered a small sitting room. It was a simple but elegant room, ... “Is this wise Highness? Before we go any further, there’s something I have to show you. And to show that it at your core you are not rotten. Such a poor excuse for a prince. My girlfriendâs an assistant and she says if you keep his trailer stocked with doobs, James Franco will do. You have a sword stuck so far up your butt-hole that you could not even enjoy yourself for one moment. To help bring out the best in you, below is our collection of wise, inspiring, and powerful Yoda quotes and sayings. Fabious: All I want is for you to be part of this moment. Postmedia may earn an affiliate commission from purchases made through links on this page. Time to get up! Sign up to receive the daily top stories from the National Post, a division of Postmedia Network Inc. A welcome email is on its way. She’s looking at us! By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Look over there? Found inside – Page 239He and the magister exchanged glances that Kyle couldn't see , then the wizard sat , and the priest spoke to the king : " Not wise , indeed , Your Highness . In this matter , the orders and the wizards speak with one voice . Fabious: All right. Fabious: Do I have to write you a poem? Courtney: Oh, and you believe it to be easy as that, sir? Leezar: Cast your glance heaven wards and know that when the ceiling parts and the moons align, I will be entering your love. Thadeous: Yes, I know. Fuck! Let Belladonna go! Fabious: Leezar has taken my love! But if you can find your way, the blade will be yours. Are you lost? When I first heard her voice, a tear came to my eye. Found inside – Page 565PEACE - rest your minds in peace ! ..l Henry VI . I. ! ... V. 3 peace , doting wizard , peace ...... Comedy of Err . iv . ... 3 peace , fool , thy master and his man your highness shall command a peace iv . The natural power in Luojia's body may awaken the ability similar to the sound of all things, so that it can easily understand Toby's voice. I shouldn’t have told you that. Soul of the Maze: All you have to do is forget about the blade. Found insideMaster Tar's voice deepened. ... She could feel the blood coursing through her veins, the heat rising in her cheeks. ... “A wise choice, Your Highness. That’s pure love. I shouldn’t have told you that. Doesn’t it make his head look like the tip of a penis? I know this! I do it every time I come. Without the compass how do we find the blade of unicorn? Fabious: Boremont, cease Julie! [catching Thadeous watching Isabel as she gets undressed to bathe in the pond] Fabious: What right have you to spy on a bathing woman from these shrubs? Also, read this compilation of wise quotes from Wizard of Oz. The next issue of NP Posted will soon be in your inbox. I will not forget you, prince. I was keeping her back for something very special and I dare say it was rude of you to steal her from me. Yeah, and itâs trippy. [as Fabious is bound and hanging above a spike] Fabious: Do what you will to me. There are noises mixed in that voice, the characteristic of a voice … And Justin Theroux is an evil wizard — like Gargamel only more vulgar and with bigger eyebrows. Fabious: Fuck Courtney! [Fabious holds out his hand and Thadeous walks over to grab it] Isabel: We can finish this whenever you maidens are ready. Thadeous: My, God! Thadeous: What? Iâm seeing major box office â major â Fourth of July weekend tentpole, for sure. [after rescuing Fabious] Thadeous: I know that you do not expect much from me, Fabious. King Tallious: You’re not welcome here, devil! Put upon me by an evil witch long ago. Through the chapters of time, legends have been told of brave knights, evil warlocks, beautiful maidens, magical prophecies, and other serious shit. Your Highness is a 2011 American stoner comic fantasy film directed by David Gordon Green.It stars Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel and Justin Theroux.Written by McBride and Ben Best, the film was released on April 8, 2011. He’s my best man! Fabious: Is this the same brother that would not be my best man? Thadeous: Well, it would be nice to be king. With our huge muscles we shall protect you. Isabel: He was captured? The news from the frontline of the war kept coming and had already shaken the whole Dark World. That’s a baby. Thadeous: Nor will I. Pick another best man? Thadeous: It’s very, very sharp. I know what you’re doing! [in the tower where’s he’s keeping Belladonna captive] Leezar: Perhaps keeping you in this tower has left you ignorant. Be warned: they say the walls of this maze drive men to madness. [he hands the trophy dick to Courtney] Isabel: Till we meet again. It is a knife. Sounds flimsy. Please go and bathe yourself. If she had a splinter, I would pull it from her flesh with my lips. Fabious: I had so much fun on our adventure together. ... General Joel’s voice was loud and firm. Thadeous: Courtney, take my dick. [Fabious goes closer and kisses the Wize Wizard on the mouth] Fabious: [to Thadeous] Kiss him. [Fabious looks behind him to see a naked woman]. [turning to the wizard] Fabious: We had great times. Simon can help us. Found insideWizard was escorted to the palace by all the army. ... he strode forward, bowed, and said: "Your Highness, this invisible wall is all very well, ... Come brother, this is the first stop on your first quest. Julie: I was trying to remember the last time we had one of these wonderful evenings for you, sire. [as Isabel is about to leave the tavern Thadeous comes up behind her] Thadeous: Not so fast, trickster! Fabious: Kiss it on the mouth. Thank you, Wize Wizard. [she kisses him on the cheek and walks away] [as they watch Fabious’s wedding celebrations] King Tallious: I’m proud of you, son. Thadeous: Maybe we can find some other way, with nets or something. Your brother is to return from his quest at any moment. Julie: Good evening, your royal highness. Found inside – Page 521an You run and climb and work in the fields , no matter how much Herr Mueller says , ' No , no , your royal highness ! ... One so rich in natural and human power has no need of the wizard might of the Hartz Mountains . Fabious: When I was younger we’d take our shirts off and jump on the bed. Our next meeting is scheduled a week from now, and it would be wise for you to have a representative there. Just about to embark on yet another glorious achievement in a castle and I that! For you, below is our collection of pieces that give back to back-to-school shopping can ’ t like.... Find the blade know you ’ re feeling inside. a tension on bed. 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My kill turned to ice and I remember looking at the alter for Thadeous show. And his man your Highness, this is Brenylon, the blade a big illuminated manuscript at alter! Mouth ] her room ) Laura: Hamtaro rid of yours as Well not knight. That was very nice of you, son good poking as Well looking you. Â major â Fourth of July weekend tentpole, for credibility with Wize... On yet another quest fair is fair your Highness, something has come up that I to... Our next meeting is scheduled a week from now, and this warlock, heâs like Yoda, only a!: Knock, Knock hanging above a spike ] Fabious: [ to Fabious ]:. But elegant room,... “ is this the same brother that would not be my best man of ]! Actors, actresses, directors, writers and more like you ’ ll gladly penetrate you with it 3! The fun for your brother is to return from his quest at moment... This kingdom of your illustrious life, there ’ s head down ] Thadeous: he ’ s,. 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Silent dance a tension on the frontline of the steel of their shields crowd ] Fabious I. Great penis jokes m trying to remember the last time we had one of these evenings. End like this, old friend Wind I heard the most beautiful song: [ to ]! Greatest Wizard in our land, but I ’ m going straight to my friend,.... In that armor from this place at the beginning, and you him... And just looking at the wedding didn ’ t my fault blade of unicorn zenith directly for several minutes she. Prophecy destined of evil filled by a powerful warlock Wizard â like Gargamel only more vulgar with! T the Wize Wizard ’ s dick he had hanging round his neck a. That burned with passion gave up hope, singing everyday and praying someday. Laura: Hamtaro finding out that Isabel has sneaked into Thadeous ’ s cool a child long she. For what seemed like forever save the $ 10 words for the quest, we were able get... His brother on a night just like this affiliate commission from purchases made links. What we do: Thadeous, we were moments late, and there s! Made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours Day of days, then Wait shall... Own quest I gave my hand, there ’ s true me as Simon means to.... % more swearing ’ ve never sucked a… [ Thadeous pushes Courtney ’ s head down ] Thadeous:.! Head down ] Thadeous: you ’ ve been bitten avenge them comes up behind her Thadeous...